Fifty Shades of Jane

People are writing sex scenes into Jane Austen novels, and Vulture is ON IT.

Basically, “Now they’re making Jane all smutty and it’s ALL BECAUSE OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!”

Awww.

To be fair, the article does address the fanfiction elements of this story—both the fact that Austen fanfiction is to the Internet like the crocodile is to Earth (that is, an early and successful inhabitant) and the fact that Fifty Shades began its life as Twilight fanfic, only to later be published for profit.

Still.

Really? Thirty seconds on Amazon didn’t tell you about The Darcys: The Ruling Passion, published last October? Not Mr. Darcy’s Undoing or Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts or any of the countless sexy sequels/reimaginings published long before 50 Shades got search-and-replaced into semi-respectability?

Nice work, Vulture. When the Times finally gets there, you can feel superior again.

 

 

A truth universally acknowledged? Oh, you betcha!

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that everything awesome is somehow related to Jane Austen: forgiving empire-cut dresses, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, funny girls who get the guy, Colin Firth, and of course, Amy Heckerling’s contemporary classic Clueless, built on Emma. – Jezebel

True, true. I guess that’s why it’s a truth universally acknowledged . . .

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman starring in a romantic comedy, must be in want of a man — and have a best friend (or sister) on hand to crack wise and provide emotional support while she deals with him. – Vulture

That IS pretty universal, and kind of annoying.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person with a reasonably nice standard of living must be in want of a Swedish partner. – “The Official Gateway to Sweden”

Funny, I never knew that . . . Sounds like the ’70s.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a social landlord with green aspirations must be in want of a trophy wife. – Inside Housing

WHAT??

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a farmer in possession of gelignite is in want of somewhere better to put it than the steps of the Balclutha police station. – Homepaddock

Now I’m really lost . . .

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a novelist in want of an idea will eventually take possession of one of Jane Austen’s.  – The Telegraph

Yeah, and that they’ll start their book with “It is a truth universally acknowledged . . . .” Alas.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone can have a blog. – Universally Acknowledged

You said it, sister. And that they’ll all NAME their blogs “A truth universally acknowledged.”

Even a science blog! – A truth universally acknowledged

Is there an echo in here?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that there are only two kinds of bacteria. One is Escherichia coli and the other is not.  – “The ABC of symbiosis” by J. Allan Downie and J. Peter W. Young

So which one killed Jane Austen?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a writer beginning a piece with “It is a truth universally acknowledged” must be in want of ideas. – The Sydney Morning Herald

I thought there was an echo in here!

P.S. Hey everyone, please go read this before you acknowledge any more universal truths: Irony. Thank you.

Photo credit: ©Leonieke Aalders. Used under Creative Commons licensing.