Video Killed the Jane Austen Star

We talked last week about my recent passion for the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast and my ongoing trip through its back catalog (Today: Ari Shapiro on Miley Cyrus at the VMAs! Relatedly, I would like to register my love for the giant picture of Mr. Shapiro on the NPR Careers website. Work at NPR: We don’t all have faces for radio!). And I got to thinking.

You could say I’m a bit of a podcast junkie. I’ve got your This American Life; I’ve got your RadioLab; I’ve got your Splendid Table; I used to have your Fresh Air, until they changed the format and I fell behind and iTunes gave up. I’ve cried over many episodes of The Tobolowsky Files, with Stephen Tobolowsky, and I’m well-versed in the entire back catalog of the excellent Official LOST Podcast. I regularly listen to a number of podcasts where people discuss knitting for an hour or more, and then I listen to them again, because they’re just that interesting.

What kind of podcast do I NOT listen to? Jane Austen podcasts. That’s because, as far as I can tell, there are none.

Really. I looked. There are podcast episodes about Jane, and versions of her works read aloud, but I didn’t find a single instance of a serial podcast covering all things Jane.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? A complete lack of Jane-oriented podcasts seems implausible to me from any direction.

First of all, we Janeites have a lot to say. Have you seen how many websites we’re able to keep populated? (The Jane-adjacent book review sites alone!) We’re a large community with diverse views on a lot of topics, and it’s not like don’t want to talk about it. It’s completely strange to me that nobody’s regularly switching on the mic to talk Jane, if only to drunkenly MST3K all the movie adaptations. (…Mrs. F and Miss O, I believe I hear our calling calling.)

Second of all, there are podcasts about everything. Did I tell you about the multiple knitting podcasts? There are so many general literary podcasts out there, and so many other podcasts about seemingly un-podcastable topics, that I just can’t believe that Janeites have decided to sit this one out.

So, tell me, readers: Are Google and iTunes lying to me? Do you all know of any Jane Austen podcasts, and do you have any favorites? Hook your Janeite sisters and brothers up!

 

Video Killed the Jane Austen Star

LOST in Austen

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

We open on a television set. The screen is black.

An eerie chord sounds and splinters; text appears.

LOST.

EXT. REGENCY HOME – DAY

When we return, gone is the island! Instead, OUR HEROES materialize, bedraggled and apparently out of thin air, on the grounds of a grand Regency estate. CHARLES WIDMORE looks on from a nearby window, twirling his nonexistent mustache.

DAMON LINDELOF

Surprise!

CARLTON CUSE

You’re gonna love it. LOST: The Regency Season! What a way to go, right?

We zero in on the action.

JACK SHEPHARD

You fell down a hill and twisted your ankle? I’ll save you! Don’t you love me? Fine. I’ll be off crying in the forest if you need me TO AMPUTATE YOUR LEG.

JAMES “SAWYER” FORD

I challenge you to a duel, Mr. Shephard! I say, have I misplaced my shirt again?

KATE (ahem) AUSTEN

I love you, Mr. Shephard! No. I love you, Mr. Ford! No, I love you, Mr. Shephard! No, I love you, Mr. Ford!  No, I love you, Mr. Shephard! What? You want your gun(s) back? La la la I can’t hear you! What?

SAYID JARRAH

Tell me where Wickham and Lydia went, or I’ll kill you with my thighs!

JOHN LOCKE

That Churchill fellow cultivates an admirable air of mystery. Care for some backgammon, shooting, and/or pseudo-religious posturing? Don’t tell me what I can’t do!

VINCENT

Woof!

BEN LINUS

(stares)

JULIET BURKE

I can kill every single one of these ladies with my brain.

CLAIRE LITTLETON

Gypsies warned me not to send my baby away, but what do they know?

DESMOND HUME

These ladies are tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me…away from mah Penneh. PENNEH!

ELOISE HAWKING

This time-travel nonsense is no match for the majesty of Rosings Park!

PENNY WIDMORE

Memo, Anne Elliott: Don’t let your man go off to sea. The only thing worse than years of crushing loneliness is having to rescue him from a lifeboat in the South Pacific ten years later. Ask me how I know!

HUGO REYES

Dude, where’s the Dharma cold meats platter?

We close on the castaways burning a bonfire as the sun sets. They’re alone. OR ARE THEY? Mr. Collins skulks around the shadows, unbeknownst to all.

END

LOST in Austen