I am by no means the first person to think of quoting Jane Austen for my own profit. Indeed, the market for Jane Austen greeting cards, in particular, might be considered saturated. Funny, really, when you consider how few of her quotes say what she meant, out of their original context. That’s the good old irony at work. Even her most famous quote: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.” Did she mean that? I never can decide . . . However, that does not prevent me from suggesting my own line of greeting cards, and the (in)appropriate occasion for each.
Guests/hosts
It was a delightful visit; — perfect, in being much too short.
I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible to enjoy.
Weddings
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
You have liked many a stupider person.
Get-well
My sore throats are always worse than anyone’s.
Those who do not complain are never pitied.
Retirement
You have delighted us long enough.
People always live for ever when there is any annuity to be paid them.
Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.
And the Laugh-a-Minute Miscarriages
Mrs Hall of Sherborne was brought to bed yesterday of a dead child, some weeks before she expected, ow[e]ing to a fright. I suppose she happened unawares to look at her husband.
Readers, what Jane Austen quote would you least like to see addressed to you? What quote do you think is the most misapplied, or the most misunderstood?
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austenacious 