Mwuhahahahaha!

It’s Halloween again, so if you don’t normally partake in things that make you shiver in fear and anticipation, now’s the time to give it a try! I, for one, can’t deal with zombie movies. (No judgement! Zombies may move slowly, but they’re tenacious and keep coming at you.) So here are some other ideas.

• Have you read Dracula? Seriously . . . if you have not read Dracula, you need to read it. Now. I read it in high school and was a little meh about it. But I re-read it a few years ago, and I was freaked the heck out! Like, holy-crap-old-and-musty-smells-like-rot-Nosferatu-gonna-kill-me!

• And there’s always Edgar Allen Poe. Secretly, I imagine that his action figure wants to make out with our Jane action figure. But I’m pretty sure Action Jane wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. She would have disapproved of his marrying his 13-year-old cousin and possible alcoholism-rabies-and/or-syphilitic death. (Then again, in the afterlife, Jane would enjoy a good laugh over people still trying to figure out how they both died.)

• If you’re more of a visual person, my new favorite time sink is looking at “spirit photography.” And I’m not just talking about what you see on Google. Even museums and archives have these sorts of images! Check out SFMOMA’s Artscope. Type in “spirit photography” into the search box, and all sorts of goodies show up. Those photos are almost as creepy as when Nicole Kidman finds the book of dead people in The Others. *shiver*

Jeez, now I’ve thoroughly creeped myself out. Why did I let myself watch that scene again? That’s almost as bad as when the dead girl comes out of the tv in The Ring. (There is nothing that will entice me to search for that clip on YouTube. I’ve been scarred for life seeing The Ring.) Rainbows! Unicorns! Colin Firth diving into a pond! Sunshiny goodness! Okay, I’m back.

• Maybe you should give Northanger Abbey another whirl. What’s not to love about a parody of gothic novels? It’s not scary.

• Or you could watch Revolution on NBC and wonder if it’s really possible for people to go a little feral when the power goes out. Timely, no? (Then again, Hurricane Sandy may have knocked out the power on the east coast, yet people still seem to be able to update their Facebook pages. Guess those phone chargers for the car were a good investment after all.)

Whatever your choice in spooky entertainment, we at Austenacious wish you a very safe and happy Halloween!

He did the Jane-ster Mash; it was a graveyard smash

Let’s face it: the range of Austenian Halloween costumes for ladies is not that great. Like, congratulations! You have a lovely empire-waist gown and a spencer! You are…one of any number of unidentifiable Regency characters? No clever object costumes, either—bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, as I imagine the Sound of Music folks would do, assuming there are in fact Sound of Music folks out there (who aren’t also attending the sing-along)—which brings up a whole thing about the relative unimportance of objects, symbolic or otherwise, in Jane’s work, but we’re not here to talk about objects symbolic or otherwise. We’re here to talk about Halloween.

(Somewhat ironically for a writer whose works are so generally female-centric, more recognizable male-oriented costumes spring to mind. Wear a pink cloak and be Mr. Rushworth! And of course, all glory, laud, and honor to any man who has the foresight to wear wet breeches and a soaked shirt and call himself Mr. Darcy.)

In any case, may we offer a few last-minute costume ideas for the Regency-attired?

– Action Jane

White dress, green spencer, plastic face—or at the very least, painted-on smile. Arms that bend only in unnatural ways. Photo album of all your adventures?

– Kitty Bennet

Be as suggestible as possible. Cough.

– Fanny Price

Sit on a bench somewhere, preferably near a locked gate. Disapprove.

– Marianne Dashwood

Tumble down a hill; if nobody handsome appears, lather, rinse, repeat. (Liability? What liability?)

I feel like I’m missing someone. Who am I missing?

(Also, we might judge you just a skosh for adding “slutty” to any of these costumes…but then, you don’t have to tell us.)

 

 

 

“It’s a Jane Austen walk-off, everyone!”

The time has come and the submissions are in—just in time for Halloween, it’s the Jane Austen Fancy-Dress Costume Contest! We received a number of fine entries for our consideration, and we thank all who participated and/or cheered on the participants. Jane’s, er, new experiences included:

Jane lives her life like a candle in the wind. Or like something in the wind, anyway. (Via Mr. Lim)

Jane follows the yellow sponge road to the emerald city! (Courtesy of Miss Tarango and her teeth, which apparently personally shaped the gummy heart—and whose sacrifice we all appreciate.)

Jane horrifies all possible populations by dressing up in a dress of meat. “This was my idea, and nobody else has done it before,” she said. (Via Miss Ball)

Jane regrets sawing her own arm off, but some things can’t be helped. Would the BRONTEs have done it? We think not. (Via Mr. Lim & Mr. Yoo)

Jane terrifies small children Captain Hook, or possibly Jon Hamm on 30 Rock. Hard to say. (Via Miss Chong)

Stay tuned for the victory announcement—and in the mean time, feel free to champion the Jane of your choice in the comments. Happy Halloween, Austen-Nation! Stay safe out there.

The Shadow

Sorry, Austenites. Looks like we’ve got six more weeks of…something. Dull conversation and ugly haberdashery, most likely. Or, you know, winter.

Jane Will Keep Us Together

A new desk in a new room--but Jane remains the same.

Readers, the tagline for this site did not come easily. Being eager young pups in the big bad world of the literary internet, Miss Osborne and Mrs. Fitzpatrick and I put our heads together for many a free-associating hour—and please be assured that the choices were many and varying in quality. (Remind us to share some of the rejects with you the next time we’re blocked for comedy around here.) Ultimately, though, there was something pleasing about Jane gettin’ down in the name of unity, we thought, and anyway, who’s to say those dainty Regency shoes can’t be platforms? Thus, Disco Jane was born.

It turns out, however, that Jane really has Kept Us Together. Since the inception of this site, I have made two long-distance moves away from Austenacious Central. Rather than beat me over the head with my precious MacBook, as I probably deserve, my blogmates have instead displayed their immense grace and forebearance and simply bought more stock in Skype.

Maybe it’s just me, because I’m the fish consistently out of water—but I value the capacity of this site, and of the Janeite community in general, to connect. Because of Jane, we’ve swapped photos from Action Jane’s travels around the world. We’ve road-tripped to Hollywood (insert requisite Hollywood Song rendition by Miss Osborne here) just to sit in the heat and chat with the like-minded. And, maybe most significantly, we’ve stayed in touch—you’d be amazed at the way that a webcam and a well-timed baked good can simulate the comfort of Miss Osborne’s living room. I’ve just moved again, but one of the first things I unpacked was Action Jane—seen above at the seat of creativity chez Miss Ball—and the little rush of warmth and friendship I get just by having her here makes it almost, almost like there’s a bit of the Jane-esque sisterhood hanging out on my desk.

Thanks, Jane.

What does a rubber chicken have to do with Jane Austen?

Greetings, my excellent friends, old and new alike! Austenacious had a fab time at the West Hollywood Book Fair on Sunday! It may have been 100° F in the shade, but we enjoyed chatting with Austen fans and other book lovers. We wished for some wholesome English rain, so we could be picked up by the beautiful people passing by, or at least cool off a bit, but whatthehey. At least Empire waists are back in style, and fans and parasols too.

We also had hours of quiet enjoyment watching small children and big children create dioramas using our Jane Austen action figures. We even got complimented on our antique toy collection. (Most common remark from passersby: “Look, a rubber chicken!”) The late Mr. Fitzpatrick had three rubber chickens, all of whom assisted Miss Austen at the fair, as did Strawberry Shortcake, the villains of G.I. Joe, and certain handsome Starfleet officers. What we say is, why limit yourself? And you evidently agreed with us, because Jane certainly had an interesting day! So, we are asking for your help. Use your imaginations! What’s Jane up to in these parallel existences, and should we be afraid? Please tell us, in each picture, what in the world is going on. The sky’s not the limit! Thank you so much.

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All photos ©2010 Heather Dever or Christine Osborne. All rights reserved.

Jane of the North: A Story of Life and Love in the Not-Quite-Arctic

You know, for being the inanimate, six-inch representation of a long-dead British author of novels about love and life, Action Jane sure does get out a lot. Think about it: since December, she’s driven cross-country, visited or revisited Texas and the wilds of the Middle Colonies, and made a number of short hops about her usual California stomping grounds. Whatever that Amelie/Travelocity gnome does, our Jane does sometimes backwards and in plastic heels, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Recently, accompanied by friend-of-blog Mr. Lim, Action Jane took a pilgrimage to Moosejaw, Saskatchewan, Canada—home of Al Capone’s Prohibition-era hideaway, among other things—and reported back with this travelogue of the Great White-ish North:

Jane wonders about the mysteries of this new world. Like, the sky’s an entirely different color! Also, airplanes.

Jane plays nice with mooses in uniform, but this one’s screwed if he thinks he’s running off with anybody’s virtue.

Mr. Lim is suspiciously vigilant against stray drafts. No accidentally-on-purpose flu-ridden houseguests for him, eh?

Jane wonders at the many exotic ways of preparing mutton in this far-off land, and wonders where she can get her hands on some forcemeat balls.

Jane is unsure about this Al Capone fellow, but surely the non-cylindrical nature of his hat does not bode well for his character.

Also, what kinds of pheasants does that weapon hunt?

Jane enjoys a long walk in the wild New World countryside, but does not stand on a cliff, accompanied by soaring music. Unless somebody‘s not telling us something.

A special thanks to Mr. Lim for his thoughtful and assiduous company, and for such thorough documentation of the journey. You can travel with Jane any time!

….You’re welcome.

Photo credit: All photos © 2010 Luke Lim.