Mwuhahahahaha!

It’s Halloween again, so if you don’t normally partake in things that make you shiver in fear and anticipation, now’s the time to give it a try! I, for one, can’t deal with zombie movies. (No judgement! Zombies may move slowly, but they’re tenacious and keep coming at you.) So here are some other ideas.

• Have you read Dracula? Seriously . . . if you have not read Dracula, you need to read it. Now. I read it in high school and was a little meh about it. But I re-read it a few years ago, and I was freaked the heck out! Like, holy-crap-old-and-musty-smells-like-rot-Nosferatu-gonna-kill-me!

• And there’s always Edgar Allen Poe. Secretly, I imagine that his action figure wants to make out with our Jane action figure. But I’m pretty sure Action Jane wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. She would have disapproved of his marrying his 13-year-old cousin and possible alcoholism-rabies-and/or-syphilitic death. (Then again, in the afterlife, Jane would enjoy a good laugh over people still trying to figure out how they both died.)

• If you’re more of a visual person, my new favorite time sink is looking at “spirit photography.” And I’m not just talking about what you see on Google. Even museums and archives have these sorts of images! Check out SFMOMA’s Artscope. Type in “spirit photography” into the search box, and all sorts of goodies show up. Those photos are almost as creepy as when Nicole Kidman finds the book of dead people in The Others. *shiver*

Jeez, now I’ve thoroughly creeped myself out. Why did I let myself watch that scene again? That’s almost as bad as when the dead girl comes out of the tv in The Ring. (There is nothing that will entice me to search for that clip on YouTube. I’ve been scarred for life seeing The Ring.) Rainbows! Unicorns! Colin Firth diving into a pond! Sunshiny goodness! Okay, I’m back.

• Maybe you should give Northanger Abbey another whirl. What’s not to love about a parody of gothic novels? It’s not scary.

• Or you could watch Revolution on NBC and wonder if it’s really possible for people to go a little feral when the power goes out. Timely, no? (Then again, Hurricane Sandy may have knocked out the power on the east coast, yet people still seem to be able to update their Facebook pages. Guess those phone chargers for the car were a good investment after all.)

Whatever your choice in spooky entertainment, we at Austenacious wish you a very safe and happy Halloween!

He did the Jane-ster Mash; it was a graveyard smash

Let’s face it: the range of Austenian Halloween costumes for ladies is not that great. Like, congratulations! You have a lovely empire-waist gown and a spencer! You are…one of any number of unidentifiable Regency characters? No clever object costumes, either—bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, as I imagine the Sound of Music folks would do, assuming there are in fact Sound of Music folks out there (who aren’t also attending the sing-along)—which brings up a whole thing about the relative unimportance of objects, symbolic or otherwise, in Jane’s work, but we’re not here to talk about objects symbolic or otherwise. We’re here to talk about Halloween.

(Somewhat ironically for a writer whose works are so generally female-centric, more recognizable male-oriented costumes spring to mind. Wear a pink cloak and be Mr. Rushworth! And of course, all glory, laud, and honor to any man who has the foresight to wear wet breeches and a soaked shirt and call himself Mr. Darcy.)

In any case, may we offer a few last-minute costume ideas for the Regency-attired?

– Action Jane

White dress, green spencer, plastic face—or at the very least, painted-on smile. Arms that bend only in unnatural ways. Photo album of all your adventures?

– Kitty Bennet

Be as suggestible as possible. Cough.

– Fanny Price

Sit on a bench somewhere, preferably near a locked gate. Disapprove.

– Marianne Dashwood

Tumble down a hill; if nobody handsome appears, lather, rinse, repeat. (Liability? What liability?)

I feel like I’m missing someone. Who am I missing?

(Also, we might judge you just a skosh for adding “slutty” to any of these costumes…but then, you don’t have to tell us.)

 

 

 

“It’s a Jane Austen walk-off, everyone!”

The time has come and the submissions are in—just in time for Halloween, it’s the Jane Austen Fancy-Dress Costume Contest! We received a number of fine entries for our consideration, and we thank all who participated and/or cheered on the participants. Jane’s, er, new experiences included:

Jane lives her life like a candle in the wind. Or like something in the wind, anyway. (Via Mr. Lim)

Jane follows the yellow sponge road to the emerald city! (Courtesy of Miss Tarango and her teeth, which apparently personally shaped the gummy heart—and whose sacrifice we all appreciate.)

Jane horrifies all possible populations by dressing up in a dress of meat. “This was my idea, and nobody else has done it before,” she said. (Via Miss Ball)

Jane regrets sawing her own arm off, but some things can’t be helped. Would the BRONTEs have done it? We think not. (Via Mr. Lim & Mr. Yoo)

Jane terrifies small children Captain Hook, or possibly Jon Hamm on 30 Rock. Hard to say. (Via Miss Chong)

Stay tuned for the victory announcement—and in the mean time, feel free to champion the Jane of your choice in the comments. Happy Halloween, Austen-Nation! Stay safe out there.

Action Jane’s Halloween Fancy-Dress Costume Contest

So, it’s exactly twelve days until Halloween–and no, I don’t think there’s a song about birds in trees or golden rings for that one–and while I KNOW you have your OWN costume squared away, I’ve gotta ask you: What’s Jane going to be?

Wait.

You…you ARE dressing up your Action Jane, aren’t you?

All I’m saying is, that green bodice/”here’s my feather and writing desk” thing has got to get soooo oooold for our dear Action Jane, and a change of thematic/sartorial scenery can’t hurt. So here’s what we’re going to do: We’re going to have an Action Jane costume contest. (Excuse me: a “fancy dress” contest.) Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to:

1) dress up your Action Jane in the Halloween costume of your choice,

2) take a picture of your handiwork, and

3) send the photo and a description of your Jane’s costume to missb at austenacious dot com by 6 PM PST, Sunday, October 30.

See? Like taking candy corn from a tiny trick-or-treater.

Don’t have an Action Jane? Don’t panic; just know that creative interpretations of the instructions may be rewarded.

The winner and her Action Jane get a prize, and by “prize,” I actually don’t just mean “bragging rights for having successfully clothed a six-inch plastic doll.”

Get on it, people! And spread the news!

A Chance Meeting: A Play in One Act

“Hey, happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween!”

“…what are you?”

“Guess.”

“Oh. Uh, okay. Hmm. Well, I see you have some fishnets, there, and those are some tall heels.”

“Good, good! Keep going!”

“Uh, so, that old-timey kind of top where it flows out right below your boobs…what do they call that?”

“Empire waist! You’re so good at this!”

“Right, right. Empire. You know, you’d think those would cover more.”

“Oh, no, that’s just our modern assumption. Ladies of my time period—they were so regal, and by ‘regal’ I mean ‘like the Regency,’ hint hint—were all about showing off the girls.”

“And, wow, you’re doing a really good job of that.”

“Oh, thank you! You’re so sweet to notice!”

“So, uh, I don’t know. What’s that platform strapped around your neck? Are you selling something at a baseball game?”

“No, silly! That’s my writing desk!”

“And the feather…?”

“Can’t write without a pen, now, can I?”

“Oh. No. No.”

“What?”

“I think I know who you are.”

“Guess!”

“You’re Sexy Jane Austen, aren’t you.”

“I AM!”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I do! I do. I just…are you sure Jane Austen would have liked Sexy Jane Austen?”

“What’s not sexy about Jane Austen?”

“Nothing! Well. Have you ever seen her portrait?”

“I have.”

“And…”

“Look, Miss Theater Putty Nose, at least I’m not all, ‘look at me, walking into the river in my sensual housecoat! Oh, I can’t believe my marabou heels are getting wet in the river!’ Sexy Virginia Woolf, indeed.”

“….”

“….”

“Fine.”

“FINE.”

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

“…’kay. Book club next Wednesday. Don’t forget.”

“Yeah.”

In unrelated news, only twenty-six days to plan your costume! Have fun!