The warm bits: Mansfield Park, Chapters 10-16

How’s it going, Mansfield people?

I know Mansfield is a lot of people’s least favorite Austen novel, but you guys…I’m really enjoying it (albeit slowly). Yes, Fanny’s a wimp and Edmund is the wettest blanket of all time, but the black (or, okay, dove-gray) comedy of it all is plenty to keep me entertained and reading on. Just as importantly, my mother is reading along—she’s more or less new to Janely things—and is totally into it.

Thoughts on this section:

– Oh, you guys, leave it to Jane to add into the mix that most hilarious and recognizable character: the Theater Guy. Oh, Mr. Yates! You don’t want to intrude; it’s just that some old chick was rude enough to die right in the middle of your rehearsal schedule, so it’s just as well that you found a new group of friends to help you recreate the diverse and exciting world of Glee. You want to be in a play so badly. This is probably so that you can hang around backstage with a headset mike and your hand in the back pocket of your production girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s jeans while the popular kids belt out “Seasons of Love” onstage, and then go out for pizza and probably some underage drinking. Or…so I hear.

– Ugh, Edmund. FINE. You don’t want to be in a play. You’re afraid of the “warm” bits (…hee). Is “The only thing worse than being in your stupid play is having that weird neighbor kid be in your stupid play in my house, so hand over that script” so hard to get out?

(Okay, I know. Different times, theater as place of scandal!, protector of reputation, etc. But really: You must chill. YOU MUST CHILL.)

– I continue my…not love affair with, exactly,  so much as deep enjoyment of, Mr. Rushworth. Do we think he could marry his pink satin cloak? I’m pretty sure it would like him more than his fiancee does.

– So, Mrs. Norris’s outburst: is it, or is it not, the climax of Book I? What a revealing moment—of course she considers herself superior to Fanny, but somehow the public announcement makes things a thousand percent worse for everybody, involved or not. It’s just such a turn for the sinister, even if the behavior behind it is the same as it’s always been. But where does this put us with Mary Crawford? Do we love her? Do we hate her? You’re a fickle mistress, Jane.

Next week: same bat time, same bat channel, chapters 17-21. Maybe more.

What do you think, readers?

 

“There is nothing ironic about Jane Austen!”

With the return of Glee to the weekly TV schedule—finally—I think we’ve all been reminded of a new truth universally acknowledged: everything would be better, Austen novels included, if everybody had at least the option of bursting into a well-chosen pop song from time to time. You know, revealing their places in the collective consciousness, choreography optional (but encouraged). Lizzy belts out a girl-power ballad—ill practiced, of course—at the height of her emotional turmoil? Knightley takes the edge off with a few bars of air guitar and a phantom drum solo? I’m telling you: Jane Austen might roll in her grave, but Jane Lynch would make a fine Lady Catherine.

Am I right?

Here are a few Austen characters and their likely anthems:

Captain Wentworth: “I’m on a Boat” – The Lonely Island

Anne Elliot: “I Will Always Love You“* – Dolly Parton

*The original version with the sad monologue in the middle, because that speech is exactly the gracious and heartbroken speech Anne would make to Wentworth—complete with poignant pauses every few words—and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Mr. Bingley: “Mr. Brightside” – The Killers

Mr. Collins: “Hell No” – Sondre Lerche & Regina Spektor

Charlotte Lucas: “The Sound of Settling” – Death Cab for Cutie

Mary Bennet: “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out” – Cat Stevens

Catherine Morland: “Miss Teen Wordpower” – The New Pornographers

Isabella Thorpe: “We Used to Be Friends” – The Dandy Warhols

Marianne Dashwood: “I Feel It All” – Feist

John Willoughby: “It’s Raining Men” – The Weather Girls

Readers, who are we missing?