We Californians do realize how very lucky we are: drive a few hours and voila! Snow! Looking for the ocean? Go the other direction! Craving deep lakes, crazy tall trees, and gun-totin’ locals? Drive north. Ta-da: Oregon!
Despite the arrival of spring, Action Jane has been itching to have one last romp in the snow, and took a recent expedition to Oregon’s Crater Lake to experience the exotic winter landscape. Adventure ensues!
Always the modern girl, Action Jane navigates with the help of the North Star and her handy-dandy topographical maps.
Jane contemplates the glory of Crater Lake and waits for a man in a billowy shirt to dive in and emerge, soaked but ostensibly hypothermia-proof due to his significant personal heat.
Why Action Jane can’t find herself a pair of Action Boots isn’t really clear—but Miss Osborne thoughtfully protects her little green slippers nonetheless.
The residents of Oregon are very into pheasant hunting, it seems.
Jane accompanies Miss Osborne on a snowshoe expedition.
Unfortunately, Miss Osborne managed her worst possible Marianne Dashwood impersonation and fell into a crevasse, injuring her foot. Jane surveys the scene, watching for gallant men on horseback. (If this were an episode of Chuck, it would be titled “Miss Osborne vs. the Crevasse.” Miss Osborne loses.)
Unable to snowshoe or even walk without significant pain, Miss Osborne accompanies Jane to the Rim Cafe overlooking the lake for a day of quiet pleasures, where Action Jane points out that Love Actually isn’t for a lady to watch in public (even on a tiny iPod screen). She makes an exception for a hilarious dance scene featuring a young man greatly resembling one Edward Ferrars, as even our Jane can’t resist Mr. Grant in kidskin trousers.
Action Jane, ever polite, requires rescue from an over-long conversation with a creepy statue of—well. A…logger? Gold miner? The Ayatollah? Speaking of ladies, we’re not sure how she ended up on his knee like that. Men with beards can be very persuasive, it seems.
Good news: in the days since her northern adventures, Action Jane has seen Miss Osborne and her injured foot back to the estate, where Miss Osborne has seen fit to rest and bid adieu to the snow for the time being. From now on, it’s only long walks in the flat, non-slip countryside for her. And if scandalous gentlemen want to take their shot, well, they’ll have to wait until winter.
Photo credits: ©2010 Christine Osborne. All rights reserved.
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