Eight whole chapters this week, people! We’re basically the Usain Bolts of group Regency read-alongs.
First of all:
– OH NO YOU DID NOT, HENRY CRAWFORD!
Fanny may not be the Austen Nation’s favorite heroine, but going after a lady for sport—especially a lady as prey-like as Fanny, which of course only magnifies her appeal for the huntsman—is not to be tolerated. If there was ever an Austenian “gentleman” who deserved a swift kick in the goolies, I suspect it might be our Mr. Crawford. If only Fanny could get her foot up that high without fainting.
I wonder whether Henry’s fixation on “improving” houses is meant to be a comment on how he views Fanny—so far he’s only into her as a prize, but I wait patiently for the day that he wants to tear out her barnyard (heh) and make her face east, so as to improve her “approach.” Maybe I’m making this up, but my hunt for the mighty metaphor continues. Thoughts, readers?
– Jane carefully points out that Mary puts about five seconds of effort into calling her brother off. I’m still not sure whether this makes her despicable in my mind. Maybe it should, but I’m still not convinced that Mary is bad, per se—I’m more inclined, especially after Mrs. Fitzpatrick’s most recent post, to see her as Personality rather than Character. Maybe she should have used her influence differently, maybe she’s not really ripe for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Minister, but I don’t necessarily think failing to corral her douchey brother is her great moral failing. Jane, I suspect, may have disagreed.
– So, how about that Sir Thomas? Talk about wait until your father gets home! Is “sorry we put on a play in your study and moved the bookshelf” the Regency version of “no, those red Solo cups in the recycling aren’t mine, honest”? Not gonna lie: the fatherly smackdown on the whole Lovers’ Vows situation was a relief. Even Lady Bertram put aside her pug for a moment (a whole moment!) to welcome him home! Aww, ROMANCE.
– And in case I forget, readers, don’t ever let me go on my honeymoon without my emo sister.
– Psych! I don’t HAVE an emo sister, and it doesn’t say anything about weirdo brothers, so. Home free all the way to Brighton!
– (On the other hand, who is the less lucky one here? Is it the disappointed bride who married the rich moron, or the single tag-along sister who gets to laugh at her?)
Talk to me, readers.
austenacious 
This was such an enjoyable and entertaining post. I love your whole comment with regards to Sir Thomas. Yes, I was also very impressed with Lady B’s ability to set pug aside for an entire moment, and I especially loved the way that she’d barely even noticed she missed him until his return — truly romantic.
I think Maria’s the less lucky one, I think Julia was thrilled to be escaping from THAT household — and she didn’t even need to marry an odious fool in order to do so! Gotta love those Bertrams, what a happy, well-adjusted family.
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I just have to point out that lady Bertram is more at fault for her daughters’ idiocy? Impropriety? Foolishness? Cattiness? Than anyone else here! If she’d put down the darn pug more often, Maria wouldn’t have married for freedom & spite & Julia might not be jealous! Why oh why was the miserly, interfering, self-absorbed aunt left to tend to these things?? She has no daughters & no idea!!
And Henry Crawford! I believe “douchey” was, indeed, an excellent adjective there! I think refusal to acknowledge him is the best possible medicine for someone so narcissistic!
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