Before any Austen heroine brings home the right man to Mother or Father, she always brings home the wrong one! The dashing libertine, the suavely dangerous man who seduces all the women in the household to some degree. Did Austen have a thing about libertines? Because sometimes, you know, they’re a lot more interesting than her good-boy clergymen heroes. Just saying. These men don’t make good rest-of-life fodder, but oh, I think she felt their charm. And of course, what better villain than one who can ruin your life?
So here I present a completely unbiased rundown of the Austen bad boys. Ladies, gentlemen, are they believable? Would you fall for them/let your friends date them? On a scale of 1 to 10, now. 1 = “no, what a dork! I never liked him.” to 10 = “sign me up here and now!”
Mr. Willoughby: A classic, truly, Mr. Willoughby recites poetry at the drop of a hat, rides to any damsel’s rescue, and carelessly seduces innocent young girls. He’s funny, irreverent, and, the kicker, we learn he really does love Marianne after all. Without this touch of heart, I don’t think modern audiences would give him a second thought, but remember, in the book Colonel Brandon is pretty boring. It took all Alan Rickman’s Alan-Rickmanness to make him into a mysterious romantic figure, and satisfy us that he’s a fitting mate for Marianne. With this touch of heart, I’m always left with the vague dissatisfying feeling that Marianne will never be happy without Willoughby.
Mr. Wickham: Chatty, flattering, sly Mr. Wickham. He gets at Lizzie by taking her into his secret and making her feel smart and special. We can all fall for that from time to time. After his unmasking, he’s so annoying I always find it hard to believe I liked him at the beginning of the book! (Lydia, of course, would run off with anyone.)
Henry Crawford: I always do fall rather for Henry Crawford, and regret him his fate. He’s the opposite of Wickham—he starts out bad, obviously and proudly bad, and so gradually becomes good. In fact I think Jane Austen rather liked him too, and had so convincingly reformed him that she didn’t know what to do but have him run off with Maria Bertram AKA Mrs. Rushworth. Do I believe he’d do that? I’m never sure, that’s the thing.
Mr. Elliot: He’s a bad boy, all right, but thoughtful Anne is never in any real danger. Her own Captain Wentworth is dashing enough to satisfy all that. Even more than with the others, with Mr. Elliot Jane Austen really seems to be pointing out how someone can say all the right things and look proper, and not mean a word of it. Mr. Elliot is suave and flatters Anne’s intelligence and looks, but he never caught my eye. Like Jane, I like guys who sometimes act without thinking. (Just ask Mr. Fitzpatrick!) Mr. Elliot is too measured—and more truly a villain than any of the others.
Non-starters: I haven’t included John Thorpe, Mr. Elton, or Frank Churchill in the running. Sure, they deceive people, but either not us, or not much, or they aren’t really bad when you get right down to it. Feel free to differ, of course!
I’ve just realized what separates the charming Austen men from the boring ones! The charming ones, good or bad, sometimes say or do an unconsidered thing—they are natural. Even the bumbling gentle heroes achieve charm when they do that.
austenacious 
Like Jane, I like guys who sometimes act without thinking. (Just ask Mr. Fitzpatrick!)
Better not to, as Mr. Fitzpatrick needs it explained himself!
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I always imagined it was Jane’s voice that predominated over Anne Elliot’s in the following line: “She felt that she could so much more depend upon the sincerity of those who sometimes looked or said a careless or a hasty thing, than of those whose presence of mind never varied, whose tongue never slipped.” If this is a fair means of judging worthwhile from worthless young men, Willoughby certainly deserves his slight redemption in the Dashwood sister’s eyes while Henry Crawford is, perhaps, the worst of them all.
If you are counting Mr. Elton as a “non-starter”, doesn’t Mr. Collins deserve a place in that company?
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While Mr. Collins is condescending, arrogant, ignorant, supercilious and stupid; he is not deceptive or sly. He may bore you to death by taking an entire half hour to apologize for a mere trifle or antagonize you by presuming way too much on a minor aquaintance with your Aunt but he is never malicious. No, Frank Churchill et all are in completely another category.
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The Bad Boys on a Scale of 1-10
Mr. Willoughby: 8; I have to admit that I’ve had the hots for Greg Wise since PBS aired The Buccaneers in the mid-1990s. (And I loved that Emma Thompson, who is awesome in so many ways, ended up with him. Not that I know anything about them as human beings, but she’s cool, and he’s a good looking fellow.) I only gave Willoughby an 8 instead of a 10 because I’ve never been one to actually date the bad boys, but he’d be tempting.
Mr. Wickham: 6; How do you resist the handsome young man who takes you into his confidence and understands your snark? Well, when you realize he’s just a step away from being a pedophile. But yeah, I’m sure I’d be swoony around him until his tastes in *young* woman became known.
Henry Crawford: 2; I have no interest in extravagant people. The only reason I don’t give him a 0 is that he really does redeem himself before he completely screws everything up again.
Mr. Elliot: The fact that I can barely remember what I think of Mr. Elliot tells me it’s time to read Persuasion again! There must be something about him that makes Anne distrust him. I would hope that I could figure that sort of thing out for myself, but goodness knows it’s difficult to know someone’s true character and history until you’ve known them for a long time.
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With most of these I’m at a disadvantage because I saw the movies before I read the books, so my impressions of these characters will always be colored by the actors I saw playing them. Wickham was never even an option, in my mind, because he wasn’t terribly cute and of course Colin Firth always wins. Greg Wise is good-looking, but a man would have to be way more than just good-looking to tempt me away from Alan Rickman. And Henry Crawford in the 1999 Mansfield Park was never anything but a creeper in my eyes–actually, no one in that movie, except for Fanny and maybe Edmond, was ever anything but creepy. That whole film just puts me on edge.
Mr. Elliot, though, is an interesting case. You’re right that he always says and does the right thing, and it’s easy to fall for that, especially when, as Anne’s case, no one else pays much attention to you and marrying him seems to be the logical thing to do. I wonder what would have happened if he’d happened along before Captain Wentworth showed back up. Anne still would have been slightly put off by him, but without the hope of Wentworth somewhere in the back of her mind, might she have eventually caved?
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Alexa and Mes. P: I was really going for seduction factor here, plus the bad-boyness. And I don’t think anyone is in danger of being seduced by Mr. Collins. (Though they do say you can find ANY fetish on the Internet!) So that’s why he isn’t even a non-starter.
Emily Michelle: That’s an interesting point about Anne and Mr. Elliot. Even with Capt. Wentworth in the picture, Anne does say she could *just* imagine being persuaded by Lady Russell to accept him. So without Wentworth – I would have to say, quite possibly!
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